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Sorry, Jeff Bezos, these spacesuits don’t do it for us

Prior to takeoff, which occurred in Van Horn, TX, Bezos shared an official image of the crew in their specially designed flight suits. The cobalt-colored suits had a very shiny glossy sheen, had an unflattering squidgy feel and resembled them and each had each crew member’s first initials and last names in white letters across the chest. Elsewhere, the Blue Origin name is on the left sleeve and an American flag is on the other for Bezos, his brother and Funk, while it is a Dutch flag for Daemen. And while the suits were expertly crafted for the mission, they really didn’t do much for us in terms of style. Additionally, Bezos made the dishonest decision to pair his own suit with a pair of suede boots. Nuff said.

For a momentous moment like this, and most importantly overseen by the richest man in the world, we wanted more: we wanted outfits that, from a sartorial standpoint, would lift us from our seats and send us straight into the stratosphere. We wanted something that looks like these functional yet stylish suits worn by Anne Hathaway, Matthew McConaughey et al in Interstellar, or even the punchy, bright orange costumes seen in the 1998 sci-fi movie Armageddon. Instead, Bezos’ costumes were just plain irrelevant and certainly didn’t earn their place in the suborbital space.

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Cory E. Barnes

The author Cory E. Barnes

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